If you'll indulge me...

I need to talk about our recent theatrical experience again...

Performing is so much fun for my kids -- and so much fun to watch for me! But this season was about so much more than that. It was a time for them to tell the story -- through a fun fun musical -- about how it feels to not look like the others, to feel like they don't belong, to be, well different.

Our local NBC-affiliate did a news piece on my trio. It makes me smile. I love hearing them embrace their story and find the voice that God has given them through their particular circumstances.

We had the cast party for the Select Troupe at our house yesterday. These kids from all over the valley did not know each other two weeks ago when they met for their first rehearsal. Yesterday, they talked, played, ate pizza and discussed how changed they are for having this experience. It was apparent to all observing that these 40 plus kids have formed deep friendships!

One mom in particular shared what her son had learned from performing with Benjamin and Mason. His view of special needs has changed, she confessed with pride for his growth. He told her he would never make assumptions before getting to know someone -- no matter how they look on the outside.

And well, I had to smile. Because, that was exactly the point. And what a blessing to know that we have a found a medium that is not only a blast for all four of my crew, but is effective in educating others!

Oh. I feel so blessed this morning.

Yesterday was not a good Mommy-day. I lost my usual cool. I lost my calm. I lost my patience. I didn't like the loss.

Following Claire's recital with Grams, Cate and Me!

I felt rather spent. At the end of my rope.

Celebrating Lenny's graduation (and wearing his Honors cord!)

 But a dear lady stopped at my van as I picked up my crew from their late-night theater rehearsal.

My bow-tie-wearing Mason!

And in a few words she put life back into perspective. Her kinds words were not intended to encourage me. She was complimenting my boys. And yet, her words were like a healing balm to my stretched-a-bit-too-thin heart.

She was praising my boys for their involvement in this production (Did you hear they are doing four more nights of Honk!? If you haven't seen it, you do not want to miss it!). She said she was amazed at how they "are channeling their physical challenges into artistic expression!"

My handsome Benjamin!

And with those simple words, I gained a new perspective. I felt less alone. I realized sometimes others do see and understand us.

And I sighed deep.

Speak kindness to others today. I guarantee you will be a blessing!

(And especially this weekend -- be kind to those around you -- women who might be struggling with this holiday, women who desperately want to be Moms; women who are single-moms; women whose Mommy-dreams may not be exactly what they thought....and thank the Mom in your own life!!)

Go. Bless!

Different.

Our theatrical week -- including the MoezArt debut of Claire and Cate -- has come to an end. There are no words, really. The show was amazing. The cast exuded talent, and my kids -- oh my goodness, I was so proud to be their Mom!

Honk! is the story of the ugly duckling. The story of one duckling born looking different. Not like the rest.

My Mason played the role of Ugly.

Cate and Claire -- the littlest duckling and the grandest duck!

For a week I have lurked in the back of the auditorium while my crew rehearsed -- sometimes, I am needed for costume changes -- and for a week, I have cried through various scenes.

I have started this post and erased it several times since Saturday night. Hoping that the delight in the performance would simply soothe the emotions storming around my heart. And there is such delight: delight that the energy level, the enthusiasm, the talent of this cast brought the story to life; delight that the friendships grown in this theater company are God-honoring and supportive of one another rather than cut-throat; delight that the auditorium was filled with our friends and loved ones assuring my heart that Arizona is finally home.

My Benjamin -- a turkey afraid of Thanksgiving!

But this show was about more than that. Listening to Mason sing about being different moved me, grew me and made me sit and speculate on whether or not we have accepted our own different.

Dear Cate

My trio are 15 years old -- we have known the boys have Cerebral Palsy for 14 years. But if I am honest, I will say that there are days I still struggle with the fact that my amazing boys have Cerebral Palsy. If I am honest, I will say that on certain days I would like to be less different as a family.

HONK!

But here's the thing: being different makes us special. Period.

Being different gives us a voice. Yes, people turn and stare when we enter a room, a restaurant, a theater stage, but then we get to shine. My life didn't have the depth of heart before I became Mom to these four amazing kids. My story was not compelling. My writing was not as moving. I was not nearly as interesting.

Being different changed me.

A pretty girl....

My amazing boys struggle some days as well. I know they do. We have had seasons where they felt alienated because they wanted to be where their friends were but then their friends were busy throwing balls back and forth (boys do like to throw balls.). We have seasons where they want to move in ways their bodies will not allow. We have seasons where they want to be more independent, less constrained, less different.

But for this season, I sat back in the audience and watched as Mason embraced his different. I watched as he took his different used it to bring the character of Ugly to life; to bring new meaning to the show; to honor and glorify the God who makes no mistakes and assures us that we are each fearfully and wonderfully made!

With the froglets.

Transformed...

"Different isn't hateful,

Different could be swell

Different is just....well

DIFFERENT!" (From Honk! Jr.)

I'm linking up today for CP Connection -- join me!

Changed.

So often, when you are raising special needs kiddos the focus is on what they can not do -- they can not walk, or they can not talk, or they can not, on and on and on.  In situations where this is happening -- doctor's visits, IEP meetings, etc -- I get very chatty and begin to tell all sorts of stories about my kids. I couldn't stop myself if my life depended on it. I NEED people to see what they CAN DO. My boys -- nor my girls -- are defined by their IN-abilities and I will not tolerate anyway thinking differently.

So now you understand my passion when I write about the Ballet Academy of Arizona's production of Cinderella -- check it out here -- because I feel strongly that we must, we have to, we should be focused on what our kids CAN do and that is exactly what Caroline Atkinson did this weekend at the Herberger Theater!

Our narrator -- Mason wrote the script for Cinderella!


And can I just say that it surpassed our wildest dreams.

Backstage Fairy Godmother -- Victoria Lundeen made all the girls feel beautiful! And she started with Cinderella!

 Starting with the love backstage for each and every child -- special, typical, whatever -- from the myriad of volunteers taking care of the 100 little performers; to the love amongst the cast for each other as friendships were formed, bonds were made and walls were torn down; to the packed-house audiences at both shows who laughed, cried, clapped and were changed.

 It was spectacular.

She has never worn make-up...this was a new thing!

Simply spectacular.

Her favorite part though was the way Victoria fixed her hair!! Oooh-la-la!

 Sisters danced together -- the one without a special need, stating that she had quit ballet when she was younger because she just hated seeing her sister sit and watch. They were gorgeous on-stage TOGETHER Saturday.

I had my special eye-glitter...just to make sure everyone could shine! The Fairy Godmother needed some too!!

 A Fairy Godmother with a special needs child and a world-class ballerina of her own. She has walked the road ahead of us and encouraged, loved and was loved. A gift.

Dear Lousia, a new friend and the Fairy Godmother, me and my sweet Claire -- Cinderella!

 Little girls clasping hands to help older girls who needed just a little help on stage.

Me & one of my little mice.

Young dancers putting down their "look-at-me-attitude" to push a wheelchair gracefully.

Mommies laying down their false paradigms of "we can't." And changing them to "WE CAN and WE DID!"

Another of my mice...Benjamin!

Volunteers who instead of saying "I don't know how," said "Teach me, let me be a part!"

Flowers....so lovely!

Tutus cut in half so that they could be tied to wheelchairs.

The wicked step-mother...my sister brother, Len!

 A lot of glitter.

Sweet new friends.

A lot of love.

More new friends....

A blessing to behold. A blessing to experience. An absolute blessing.

Stage full of joy....

You may remember that last spring my entire crew participated in the Peter Pan production put on by the Ballet Academy of Arizona. It was a delightful production made all the more special by the impact it had on Mrs. Caroline, the Ballet Academy owner/director.

Mrs. Caroline was so moved by working with kids of all abilities that she immediately shifted her focus and direction in an effort to draw more children into this fall's production of Cinderella! She has organized the teenagers from Peter Pan to serve as mentors. She has begun teaching classes to the children in the programs at United Cerebral Palsy. And she has opened her arms, her classes and the opportunity to perform in a beautiful ballet on an amazing stage to children all over the valley -- no matter the limitations their bodies may inflict on them.

We are honored to be a part of this. Benjamin and Mason are serving as mentors -- they'll be on stage helping to inspire the younger children! Our Claire is living her life-long dream -- she is Cinderella! And as such, she is helping teach the classes, work with the students and getting to love on all these amazing amazing children.

Cate, who started this whole thing by pulling her siblings in, is dancing in Cinderella, of course, as a little mouse AND a pumpkin! She is so excited about all the little girls in wheelchairs that she squeals every time she meets a new friend! She spent last Saturday introducing all her new friends to each other, and filling their minds with her descriptions of the stage, the experience and the fun they are all going to have!

Yesterday was our first rehearsal at the United Cerebral Palsy center. After some major struggles to get there -- oh goodness, a flat tire in 113 degree heat no less -- I arrived flustered and trying to calm down. Claire was already there in the midst -- Uncle Lenny had rescued her to get her that as quickly as possible. She was smiling from ear to ear....I rush in and was immediately washed in the joy bubbling out of that room.

Moms were watching with tears in their eyes as their daughters and sons of all sorts of varying abilities were following the grace-filled directions of our precious instructor, Mrs. Caroline.  One mom told me about her five-year-old, who can not verbally communicate, but her smile and her beautiful arms were telling the story of excitement:

"She has watched her little friends' recitals for the last few years. She has been happy for them and yet, desperately wanting to dress up and dance too! We are so excited she is getting this opportunity."

Another Mom who spent the afternoon helping her precious 23-year-old daughters participate, told me afterwards:

"The girls have wanted to dance since they were six years old. No one every offered them the opportunity."

Her daughters won my heart when I introduced myself and they told me, "The coach broke down. Did you know the coach broke down?"

It took me a minute....but then I realized they were talking about my Claire. Cinderella's coach HAD broken down and she had to arrive late! Oh, I have smiled all night -- somehow thinking that Cinderella's coach broke down is much better than thinking my old van had a flat tire!

The smiles were contagious. The energy explosive. The anticipation palpable. These kids and parents were thrilled with every aspect of the afternoon. The children left exhausted -- but so happy!

But there was one little girl. Ah, I have spent time in prayer for her this morning. She is heavy on my heart.

She was dancing with all the others. She was learning the routine. But her grandmother was watching with a scowl. I could see it across the room. When Caroline asked the child to push another little girl in her wheelchair in my sequence, the child accepted. But the grandmother grimaced. At the end of the dance, she went to the child, said "You don't want to do that, do you? No one will see you dance??"

Within minutes, the little girl was withdrawing from the group. Disengaging from involvement as she clearly was considering what had been said to her. Ten minutes later she was putting on her shoes and exiting the studio. The grandmother said to those around her, "Well, you can't blame her. She wants to dance, not push a wheelchair! Hmmph."

I teared up. My Claire had steam coming out her ears. Mrs. Caroline handled it with grace.

The bottom line: that Grandma, in one swift move, just went a long way in insuring her granddaughter will grow up intolerant of differences. Out to serve #1....herself. And annoyed by anything/anyone that gets in her way.   The grandma is not going to be changed. I wanted to talk to her. To convince her she was wrong. But some people can not be taught. And frankly, if she wasn't moved by the joy that filled that studio yesterday, then nothing I say would have helped.

My heart doesn't hurt for the loss of that little girl in our production. But my heart does hurt for the lessons that child needs to learn and could  have learned by participating.

Sigh.

But now, I have a question for you -- completely shameless in the asking because I feel so passionate about what is happening here: I want you to be involved! We need volunteers to help with our littlest dancers --  adults willing to help backstage -- and even on stage with pushing of wheelchairs, etc. So if you would like to help, please comment and let me plug you in!

You can also make a donation to help with the purchase of costumes, the theater rental (the amazing Herberger Phoenix!), as well as scholarships for those children who desire to be a part but financially can not. Go here for more info on that!

We also have a big fundraiser coming up -- A Fairy Godmother Tea -- at the Phoenician on September 25! Tables are $1000, or individual tickets are $100 -- we need you there!! (Or you could buy a table for some of our little ballerinas!) Our own Mason Shrader will serve at the Master of Ceremonies and the menu for tea looks divine!!

So the bottom line: Dreams are coming true for more than 100 children in the Valley of the Sun. Lessons are being learned. And a beautiful performance is being planned. How do you want to be involved? I guarantee a blessing.

Guarantee it!

Do you have your tickets?

THIS Sunday, the entire Shrader crew will be performing in the Ballet Academy of Arizona's production of Peter Pan.

Dear Cate is a student of the Ballet Academy and simply adores her instructor, Mrs. Caroline. Caroline is trained through the Royal Academy of Ballet and her students tested and credentialed through the Royal Academy. She is amazing.

But more than that -- at least for me -- is the heart Caroline has for all children. Because she has seen the difference theater and dance can make in the self-esteem of children, she puts on all of her shows -- from The Nutcracker, to Cinderella and Peter Pan -- with a cast comprised of talent to be sure, but also of eager, willing students who want to learn, experience and try something new. She does not audition but rather lets all who desire participate and then she inspires, excites and gets out of their way so they can shine!

When our boys were very small, we really struggled each time we drove by a baseball field, fearing they would never experience little league. In my heart, I wondered if moms of little girls with Cerebral Palsy grieved over pink tutus the way we grieved over baseball diamonds.

Caroline wants to make sure those moms don't have to grieve. She is eager to work with special needs children, children who are at-risk, children with emotional-distress....she has seen the effect her program can have and is eager to help as many as she can!

Benjamin, Mason, and Claire are volunteering their time to star in Peter Pan -- Benjamin is Peter, Mason is his shadow, and Claire is Mrs. Darling -- to spread the word that this is a place for ALL children. Cate wouldn't miss it for the world -- she is a lost child, a toy in the nursery and a ladybug!

Won't you join us? If you can't make it Sunday (Herberger Theater, 2pm & 4pm!!), the academy could still use your support. Donors make it possible for Caroline to offer scholarships to children who otherwise would not be able to participate. Every little penny makes a difference in the life of a child!