From my bunk in this Minnesota lodge.

For five years I called this medical town home. You might not recognize the town's name. Or the view nestled amongst the cornfields and well, more cornfields. You might not have heard of this, the one city in a state of 10,000 lakes WITHOUT a natural lake. 

But if you have ever loved someone with a serious illness, you know the name on every medical building in this town. You know it. You trust it. And chances are you are grateful for some life-saving medicine done here, discovered here, practiced here -- here at the Mayo Clinic.

For five years, this was home. Wade spent most of his hours at that Mayo Clinic, learning, training, caring for patients. And the triplets and I spent our time embracing life in Rochester.

A big part of that for me -- a huge huge part of that -- was Side by Side, a ministry for medical wives. Side by Side was and is an opportunity to connect with other women who understand that though I am married, I am often parenting alone while my guy does some amazing life-saving things.

Worshipping in the Mother Ship -- Side by Side - Rochester, MN.

And Side by Side was where I could say how guilty I felt about wanting my guy to stop the life-saving things to come home and be with us. And Side by Side was where I learned that Wade's calling is really and truly the calling of our family -- and that we have to come along side him to support him so he can do what he does.

Sun was a huge reason I could participate in Side by Side -- she would meet me at the door to help the triplets into her room! I was delighted to see her today and know she is still loving on the babies that come in those doors!

And really, Side by Side is about sisterhood and learning to lean in and on the women willing to stand with you in this journey.

Reuniting with some precious friends is always a gift!
(My internet connection won't let me add all the photos I am trying to add so be on the lookout for more!!)

This weekend I am in Rochester at a retreat for Side by Side leaders. I am thrilled to reconnect with some of my dear friends from my tenure here and excited to make new friends from all over the country -- women committed to come alongside their fellow sisters on this journey.

It's a treat to pass on the support. It's a gift to celebrate our sisterhood. And it is a blessing to be together in this ministry!

Oh there is more to come....

Match Day Memories!

Wade and I had triplets in medical school. You know because medical school was just not challenging enough for my guy. We had to throw in a quarter of a dozen babies. Born early. After I spent months on bed rest.

Seriously, medical school was more than enough on its own. But we had been married for six years and man, was I ready to have a baby. When we secured a job as Resident Heads (Dorm parents) for the undergraduates at the University of Chicago, it seemed the perfect time to start our little family.

Except we had three. Plus the 80 undergrads. Plus the whole medical school thing.

So the day we rolled into the auditorium at the University of Chicago to discover where Wade had "matched" for his Orthopedic Surgery Residency and Wade's entire class gave us a standing ovation, my heart was filled to bursting! Seriously, it is forever etched in my mind as a very super amazing special memory. I love those friends.

And opening the big white envelope that would announce our home for the next five years to be Rochester, Minnesota and the amazing Mayo Clinic was just icing on an already beautiful day!! And please know, while Wade read "Mayo Clinic Orthopedics" and immediately knew he was headed to a fantastic training ground. I was reading grass, a home, a backyard with grass and trees...and swings for the kids...I read ALL of that on that little slip of paper. And Rochester did not disappoint me even a little!!

Benjamin clasping the envelope to his chest!

Yesterday was match day for medical students all over the country. Oh they have been on my heart all week. My prayer is that the day was filled with precious memories, wonderful news, and that even today they are planning on the excellent adventure that moving for residency promises!!

Learning to NOT count expectations.

My husband works hard. He travels a fair amount. And his hours -- especially when the trio were little -- are fairly horrible. As I look back at emails to my sweet dear friend regarding some of those hard hard years of med school and residency, I am amazed that I didn't whine more. But rest assured, I did whine:

April 23, 1999 -- "Well, I'm beat. Wade has been doing  a neurology rotation this week (and next) and I'm having a hard time remembering how to do everything for my trio alone....good practice for July 1, I'm afraid! But let me say it is tough! I really try not to whine because I feel so amazingly blessed to be the mother to Benjamin, Mason and Claire -- but it is a ton of work and as much as I love it my bedtime seems to come earlier and earlier these days!"

January 9, 2000 -- "Wade is working, working, working but will have a week off the end of this month....I'm counting the days! I miss him terribly and need to just have my family together for some quality time."

The triplets were born at the end of Wade's second year of medical school. When I was put in the hospital on complete bed rest at 20 weeks, we discussed his taking a year off to be with me, and to help me when the triplets were born. I felt very strongly that we had to persevere through school to get done. We had two years of tough schedules as he finished medical school. But that beautiful dean of the University of Chicago Medical School saluted our little family at graduation. And those amazing classmates, they gave us all a standing ovation when we came into the auditorium for the residency Match Day Ceremony (where you find out where you will spend the next few years of training). I love those friends for the way they rallied around us through those years.

Young Mama Me was trying hard not to whine -- even then counting my blessings rather than my woes -- but I have to tell you that there were hard days. Ironically, I found coping as a "single-mom" much much easier when Wade was on a rotation that I KNEW meant long hours. There was something, something about thinking he might possibly maybe come home early to help me with our trio that would send me into a tailspin if it didn't happen.

Young Daddy: "I am doing research today. I should be home around 2."

Young Mama: "Great!"

And then I started imagining how much easier the late afternoon hours would be with two sets of arms, legs and brains. Imaginings that would take a dark dark turn when 2:30 would come with no Daddy. By the time he walked in at 5, I was going absolutely crazy with an overwhelming number of diapers, bottles, babies.....

After this happened two or three times I realized something very important -- nine days out of ten, I handled all the diapers, bottles and babies just fine by myself. Why then did that one day out of ten when I expected Young Daddy to be there to help did I fall apart?

Blasted expectations. My expectations for an easier evening, an easier feeding, an easier diaper change event would cause me to completely forget I was absolutely capable of handling things just fine. And with all our nerves in tact.

So we came up with a plan for survival from Young Mama to Young Daddy: NEVER ever never say "I might be home early." Just never ever never say those words. IF you have a day where you might be home early that would be awesome -- surprise us! What a beautiful sight you will be!! But don't try to pre-tell us. OH just don't. Because a patient somewhere will undoubtedly need you and young mama (and frankly the current not-so-young-mama) can not handle the disappointment.

We still use this today. Somehow, counting the hours until my guy gets home has never been a good coping skill for me. I do much better just handling life and rejoicing when he walks in the door. We count our blessings that his schedule is much improved over residency, and count the blessing of amazing quality time together of utmost importance.

And the bottom line -- thank goodness Young Mama learned the importance of counting her own abilities rather than counting on things beyond her control. Young Daddy was amazing -- and not-so-young-daddy is as well. But our family has a unique calling -- God called us to be a medical family. God called us to support a Dad as he helps other families like our's (with kids with Cerebral Palsy) and because of that it is very important to count our own abilities while giving thanks for Dad's abilities...and to count hours together in a special way.