Decompressing

My chicks are all back in the nest. I am so relieved. Deep sighing doesn't even begin to describe it.

I want to blog about it. I think I need to. But the week brought so many emotions, I think both Mason and I are absolutely exhausted from it all. So, I've started this...worked on it for a couple of days and finally think I'll just put it out there in the hopes that someone gains something....although maybe this particular post is just about helping me process emotions....oh, who am I kidding, all my posts are about me processing!

When Mason told us he wanted to go to CIY, I understood. I love camp. I cherish my memories of traveling with my youth group to various camps, mission trips, etc as a teenager. I know there is so much to be gained by spending time in spiritual retreat, making friends doing the same and exercising your independence a bit. I get it.

This trip, however, challenged Mason in ways, that if I am honest here, I have to say I wasn't ready for him to be challenged. I was not ready to tax his body with the mundane aspects of being away from home on a college campus where we had never been. I had no idea how accessible -- or inaccessible -- things were on the campus. That alone made me crazy....and as the Mother, asking questions of a wonderful youth minister who has responsibilities to plan a week for ALL of the almost 1000 kids attending, I am certain I came across as overprotective and worrisome.

I asked anyway. But here's the thing. If you look at my amazing Mason, you'll see his crutches, but he is so strong, so self-confident that you might gloss over the DIS in his disability...not understanding all that his Cerebral Palsy means for him. So even though we discussed accessibility prior to the trip -- and even though we took steps to increase the accessibility in areas we could control, there were definite issues that made the week extremely exhausting for my guy.

There were obvious things that made me worry -- the last minute addition of a white-water rafting trip; the hours of rec time where he would have little to do (he could swim...but it was cold!);  getting his food in the cafeteria (trays are a challenge for people who use crutches to ambulate.); getting from the shower down the hall back to his room; etc. There were things that others might not realize are hard: the dorm had steps leading to the door. Steps present a physical challenge to Mason. He could have walked around the building and entered from the parking lot where there were no steps but adding MORE walking certainly didn't aid in his exhaustion. Sigh.

Mason is not a complainer. He will work to figure out a solution himself before telling someone that the situation is inaccessible. And he did that. He met the physical challenges head-on last week. But the physical exhaustion affected him and his ability to fully enjoy his week.

Spiritually-speaking, the week had some great parts. Mason learned and grew from speakers and worship leaders and from time alone with God. But he was also forced to be bold in the face of language and conversations that he found inappropriate. While proud of his boldness, my Mommy-heart would have loved for him to NOT be exposed to such at church camp.

The bottom line, we were all stretched this week. We identified some areas that will need work before his next camp experience. He learned he can stand on his own -- no matter how challenging -- he CAN! He also discovered that he is bold in his faith and exactly what that means. I am so proud of him.

So yes, camp is a blessing. But today, I am thanking God mightily for the blessing of having my crew back in one place!

They are back...

My big kids are home. Safe. Sound. And spiritually strong.

I can not quit smiling. Hugging them and rejoicing that all my chicks are back in my nest!

The week was good for them. In spite of some obstacles, they grew in their walk with the Lord. We understand that for summer camp to be attractive to jr. high boys and girls, there has to be an adventure component that isn't necessarily compatible with my boys' abilities. But understanding it and navigating through it are two different things. I am proud of Benjamin and Mason. By all reports they participated when they could and cheered, photographed, watched when they could not. By their own accounts, the worship was the highlight and they both received the blessing of time committed to serious praise of our mighty God!

For my sweet girl, the obstacles were the same that are there for all 12-year-old girls -- other 12-year-old girls. But when faced with some unkind criticism that would have crumpled her mommy, my brave girl prayed that God would help her not have hurt feelings so that she could focus on her relationship with Him! What a blessing!!

Cate and I were likewise blessed by our week together! We swam, read books, played and even fit in a museum! The Phoenix Children's Museum just opened last summer -- we had fun exploring it! Cate had a blast and we'll have to return!

Performing a puppet show for Mommy -- and making sure I'm watching!!

The museum's decor made me smile -- this was a wall of plastered shoes...complete with birdies made of socks!!

Cate loved the Noodle Forest! (though it made me a little crazy....I couldn't find her in there!)

The art room at the museum allowed for all sorts of artistic exploration -- after painting a house, Cate is making jewelry from coke bottle caps!

But the biggest blessing of all is being all back together! We are off for our pre-surgery trip to Disneyland tomorrow and looking forward to some serious dedicated family-time!! Now, that will be a blessing indeed!!

Still getting lessons from camp...

My 12-year-olds left for camp this morning. Without me.

They have been to camp before. Never without me.

As I sat with Cate after leaving them at the church (After prying myself away. Forcing myself into the car. Slowly driving out of the parking lot in case someone came running after me saying they NEEDED me at camp....), I had a serious talk with God.

As I poured out my heart, I realized this was a trust issue. And to be honest with you, I tend to start explaining myself to God whenever I am convicted about a trust issue. Today was no different. I reminded God that my boys have Cerebral Palsy and can't do some things for themselves. I needed to do them. God reminded me that my brother Len and the boys' leader, Scott, were not only well aware they were well-prepared to meet all the needs presented.

So, I moved on. But God, I am supposed to keep them safe. Last year at camp, I trusted you with their care...but I was there in case of any emergencies. I was there to keep them safe. I am always there.

And almost audibly, I heard God say, "NO, Carol, I AM always there. And this year is no different."

Ah.

What a blessing to rest in the ever-presence of our creator, our savior, our friend, our great protector. And what a blessing for my trio to be at camp growing in their knowledge of our awesome God!

6th Grade looks a lot like camp...

The sixth graders at our school have been at Outdoor Ed -- a program in the piney woods of Arizona where they learn about all manner of outdoor wonders! Unfortunately for us, the camp was not as accessible as we needed it to be. So Claire went for the entire time, but the boys were only able to attend Tuesday -- with Mommy's help! (We arrived right after breakfast and stayed until those campers were headed to bed...goodness knows we didn't want to miss anything, although it meant a very late bedtime!)

Surrounded by an amazing fragrance of pine, lake and cooler temps, Mason and Benjamin tried their hands at fishing. Mason loved it and is eager to try again; but Benjamin found he much prefers laughing and talking to sitting quietly! (I don't know WHERE he came from!)

Tie-dying was a craft -- and a fun one at that. My trio had their own minds to be sure -- and it was a joy to watch them put their creativity to use.
Skit night was a hoot -- sixth graders are funny! My boys' skit is still making me chuckle -- and you know the drama team that is the Shrader Trio loved every minute of this particular activity!!
My kids by campfire-light -- what could be better! I must confess that I NEEDED to sing some praise songs to the Lord sitting around this fire with all these precious children. Oh, I was itching...

S'mores. Really. Could there be anything more delicious?!

And so we are home...smelling a bit worse for the wear, needing to do some serious sleeping, but smiling from ear-to-ear. Ah, the joys of being 11, of the smell of a good campfire, and of Godly friends stepping in to make things work and of course, the s'more. Blessings, in deed.

Happy Campers (and a tired Mommy!)

The kids and I have just returned from a week at camp -- UCYC in Prescott, Arizona. Those of you who know me, know that I LOVE camp....LOVE it...and so I was thrilled for Wade to take time off to keep Cate as I packed my sleeping bag (and three others) and headed to camp with my big kids! I must say that camp at 40 is a bit different that camp at 20...but we had a blast and I have to share:

Almost immediately upon arriving at UCYC, I began to feel overwhelmed that many of the activities would be highly UN-accessible. As a result, I was feeling defeated before we had even begun. And then I remembered to pray. Oh, the power of prayer! The first activity my boys' cabin did was the rock wall. Impossible for them, right? Wrong. Because God had provided an amazing staff that I had not accounted for...Adam strapped himself and Mason in and together they climbed...with Adam walking Mason through and...

As you can see, men from our church, helping at the bottom. It was amazing! And it didn't end there...

They got Benjamin strapped in too! Adam and our men had to work harder...but Benjamin got to experience the rock wall!! And as Adam so adequately made the campers shout while climbing -- they got to experience how "Our God Rocks!"

Claire was a happy camper as well -- she rode the zip-line, took part in a Mud Obstacle Course (yes, that is my girly-girl under all that mud) and loved every minute. But can I tell you how cool God is....this sweet girl of mine has listened to my camp stories all her life. If you know her at all, you know that she loves stories more than anything and so she is always all ears. So, she was set for camp believing that she would ride (like I did at 9 to Camp Garaywa) an old school bus and sing camp songs at the top of her lungs. So you can imagine her disappointment when we arrived at church on Monday only to find CCV had chartered beautiful, comfortable buses to take the 400 campers/counselors to camp. And worst of all...no one sang with my girl all the way there. She was so sad. But rallied and was enjoying camp nonetheless. And then God did the coolest thing. It started to rain and we were in the upper camp with a huge downpour and needed to get to the lower camp for dinner. All of a sudden an old painted school bus was waiting outside of our cabin to save us from the rain. As all these girls gratefully loaded...the bus driver informed them that there was a price to ride....they had to sing and sing loud! Can you believe it? This girl of mine was grinning from ear to ear...and hasn't stopped!! What a great lesson for her to learn that God cares about the little things!!

Our hearts were already full to bursting. The kids were learning that we serve an awesome God. And then the staff asked my permission to do something with my boys....

Because there were some activities that just couldn't be adapted...they wanted to give them a special treat. With my blessing (and a bit of trepidation on my part), they took Benjamin and Mason to the BIG zip line, reserved for junior high and high school campers. This zip line requires a considerable climb up a rock wall. These incredible men strapped my boys into a harness, formed a pulley line and PULLED them to the top of the wall. I could not help but envision the men who took their paralyzed friend through the roof to get to Jesus. It was quite an emotional moment for me as I watched my guys be raised to the platform.

But the story just kept getting better....when their fellow campers (who were in the pool at the time) realized what was happening they all gathered at the pool fence. Now, this was an activity that they were not allowed to do...so by rights, they could have been pretty bummed that Benjamin and Mason got to...but instead they began to chant their names, louder and louder, cheering them on in this huge adventure. It was more than I could take...even now, tears are rolling down my face.

Mason was grinning from ear to ear...Benjamin who (as you can see) did an upside-superman flight had to hang there for a while before the men could grab his rope and get him to the ladder to come down...and when we finally got him there, he was smiling so big and looked at me and said, "I just had some serious prayer time, Mommy!"

What an adventure and what a lesson of love these men taught my boys! It will stay with them for their entire lives!!

Now, we are home....stinky clothes and all. I am ready for a real shower, and my muscles may not recover for some time...but Praise God for being a God who cares, who places JUST the right people in our lives at just the right time, who doesn't just teach us with hard lessons, but more often teaches us in the coolest, most unbelievable ways!