Thursday, August 13, 2015

The routine is changing.

The routine was down to a science. I made a fridge full of bottles every night after the triplets went to sleep following their last bottle. I slept for a few hours and started our routine all over. Feed a baby a bottle. Feed another baby a bottle. Feed the third baby a bottle. Put three babies in their bouncy seats and try cereal, or fruit, maybe veggies. I played with my bouncing boys and my sweet girl and then one at a time, I put them down for a nap and was ready to do it all over again in just a couple of hours.

Did I mention I had it down to a science?

When we went for their first year check-up, their pediatrician asked how the introduction to solid foods was going. I almost choked. Solid food? That was not part of my routine. That was not in my science of motherhood. I had not only not thought to introduce solid food, I was now panicked about how in the world I would fit such into our daily routine.

I made grilled cheese sandwiches for my trio that night. Mason ate three entire sandwiches all by himself. Poor baby had been starving apparently.

Turns out, introducing solid food wasn't that hard. And changing to a routine that did not involve making bottle after bottle after refrigerator-full-of-bottles was kind of nice.

But the anticipation of changing our routine -- of changing all I knew about motherhood -- was almost overwhelming.

I am sitting on the cusp of everything I know changing again. Benjamin will begin his welcome to college week activities at Belhaven University on Saturday. Mason will move in to his dorm at Millsaps College the following Friday. Claire will move in to her dorm at Mississippi College the next day, Saturday.

And I will be left feeling as if we just changed to solid foods yesterday.

I made the mistake of clicking on a blog for mothers sending their child to college today. Oh it was filled with encouragement: "You aren't just finishing a chapter,"  the author wrote, "you are closing the book." What? What does that even mean?

Am I done with the mothering? Will they never need me again?

Honestly, I have no idea. I have no idea what motherhood looks like in this new chapter. But this I know: I am so excited for the adventure that awaits my trio. I hoped for it and dreamed of it and prayed it would happen all those years ago as I was rocking and making bottles and avoiding solid foods. And sure, I am going to miss them like crazy. And sure, our relationship will look different. Our normal will be new. But I don't think our book is over. Not even for a minute.

I mean at the very least -- they'll come home for my mean grilled cheese!

Carol - The Blessings Counter