Friday, May 24, 2013

From the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit

Today. Today was the day I have dreaded for months. Today was the day I would leave my precious 16-year-old son in an operating room knowing they were going to cut his back open when I left.

I am not superwoman. Today was hard. I was a mess. Today was hard. I was an emotional basket-case. And yet, I did not shed one tear until he was sleeping under the influence of the lovely gas mask, and then I fell apart. Briefly.

Because the thing about motherhood that I have realized over the years, it is not about me. I have moaned, worried, fretted and written one or ten blogs about the stress of this scoliosis surgery. But all along I knew that today was a day to pull myself up by my bootstraps and help him get through it -- and help my other amazing kids get through. Today was about letting the tears fall and then getting about the business of helping my son.

Not by my strength. But through the multitude of arrow prayers I shot up today...and more importantly through the amazing prayer support Benjamin has received from one side of America to the other -- from Ireland to Argentina -- the messages flooded my Facebook and bathed my heart and soul.

And our beloved staff at Phoenix Children's Hospital -- oh my goodness. We walked in the door and were immediately met by support, hugs, love and the promise of prayers.

Before and after.
Tonight, as I type and the nurse works on changing one of Benjamin's dressings, I am humbled by your support. Humbled by the blessing of your prayers and love.

And honestly, humbled by the strength of my son. He has been witty and charming while under the influence of all these painkillers.  (He just overheard the nurses welcome me to the "PCH Hotel" as I settled in for the night...looking completely asleep, he smiled and said, "It's a five-star resort!") He has been polite and kind.

Tomorrow may be another story -- for tomorrow the work of learning how to function with this new straight, inflexible back will begin. But for tonight, I am resting in the blessing of today. And asking you shamelessly, to keep praying as you have been for this amazing kiddo.

You are a blessing.

A visit from the most amazing siblings!


andre pizon said...

Believe God is faithful, and you and your family are blessed. God extends his hands on the life of Benjamin

charla said...

Tons of prayers and love and empathy being sent your way. Thanks for sharing your journey and your heart--it helps mine!

Dawn said...

Thank you for sharing your journey, I saw this through the PCH Facebook page yesterday. Our 8 year old daughter will be having spinal surgery in September with Dr. Segal and I have been fretting about what to expect. Your blog helped me understand what may be ahead for our family, so I can prepare as best as I can. I hope to have the strength you have shown. Prayers and Blessings for your beautiful family!!

Dawn Bailey