I am sitting by the bedside of my sweet Mason listening to him breathe. I am tired...in a way that words fail to do justice and yet, I am so relieved to be beside this boy of mine, listening to him snore softly that I can't sleep.
Mason was in the operating room for a long long time today. They took him from us in pre-op at 9:30 this morning and we did not get to recovery to see him until 5 this afternoon. For this mommy, those seven plus hours felt like years. Years.
Mason's surgeries -- he had 13 incisions -- were not life-saving. He wasn't rushed to the operating room to save his life. Rather, his surgeries were an effort to help him maintain his physical abilities. Cerebral Palsy and puberty are not always a good combination. As a child with CP grows, he can often lose function. Mason works very hard to walk. He uses what we have always called "power sticks" -- forearm crutches -- but at 13 prefers to walk without them....even though that means he frequently falls.
Today's surgeries included lengthening some tendons; breaking some bones, rotating them and re-setting them; splitting a ligament in his foot and wrapping it to the other side to urge "lefty" to point forward instead of turning in (because the falls mentioned above almost always happen because lefty trips righty)...and a few others.
Basically, we took my smiling happy boy this morning...put him to sleep and inflicted a lot of pain on him. All in the hopes of helping him improve his gait....and not lose function during this tremendous growing season. He will be in leg splints for a couple of weeks and in a cast for six weeks and in physical therapy for much longer than that.
It is hard on this Mommy. Can I just say that? I know (I know I know I know) that these decisions were not made lightly and that they are really and truly for his own good. I do. But it is hard nonetheless.
So tonight, I will curl up in my oh-so-comfy hospital chair beside my still-fairly-sedated boy, and pray that the pain is minimal and that the benefits of the surgeries are maximal (is that even a word? I am so tired.).
Will you pray with me? Your prayers unbelievably bless.
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1 comments:
We too hope that the results are huge and the pain is very minimal. Carol, get some rest and have faith in your decisions. Your kids couldn't have found better parents. Thinking of you all!
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