We weren't supposed to be friends.

We weren't meant to be friends. My new boss had made it very clear from the moment she offered me the job. She was Program Director for WAAY-TV, the ABC affiliate in Huntsville, Alabama and had just hired me to be the Program Manager. I had many roles -- coordinating TV listings for all the area news outlets, managing changes in local programming wrought by decisions on ABC's part as well as during tornado seasons when our news team took over the airways to keep everyone informed and safe. I handled internal communications for the station -- a little employee newsletter among other things. And together my new boss and I would plan, organize, and execute the annual Christmas parade for the city, sponsored by WAAY-TV.

But we would not be friends.

Debi had been friends with the former program manager who apparently used the friendship to manipulate and mismanage and basically not do the job to Debi's standards. Debi had been hurt and refused to make the mistake again.

So we wouldn't be friends. I was willing to accept those terms but for the life of me could not figure out how to keep my word.

ABC decided to air a show called "NYPD Blue." The writers were pushing the envelope of cable television -- using language and even the naked rear end of one of the main characters (gasp). Stations around the country were refusing to air it. Debi and I previewed the show and found it compelling. The writing was rich and the language felt true-to-character. We were still debating our choices when the phones started ringing. A media-watch organization called for viewers to call the programming department of their local stations. We received hundreds of calls and every single one of them was funneled through my office.

I was called all sorts of names. More than one viewer assured me I was headed straight to HE** and we had not even made a decision. 

After one particularly bad morning fielding the calls, Debi came to my office and told me we needed a "treat instead of a treatment" and that she was taking me to lunch.

We took her car down the mountain, wandered through a couple of her favorite antique shops and then had a delightful lunch. The calming deep breath of wandering through those shops put a slight wedge in the door of her heart I think. She didn't get overly personal over lunch, but we did laugh and get to know each other within reason.

Almost simultaneously with "NYPD Blue" was a change in regulations for the cable providers in our state. Letters had to be sent, call letters and channel numbers secured. Spreadsheets needed to be prepared and all while maintaining the day to day programming. 

Perhaps it was the weathering of these relative crises in our field, perhaps I just finally beat her down. I don't know for sure. But I do know that Debi became one of my dearest friends. I had the privilege of planning her 40th birthday surprise party. And I would be who she asked to direct her wedding. We shed lots of tears when I left Huntsville for Chicago.

Over the years we stayed in touch. I watched with joy as she adopted and raised her beautiful amazing daughter, Kayla (who called me Pincushion for some unknown reason.) She visited me when the triplets were little and again when Cate was a toddler.

It was Debi who told me to set up this blog. It was Debi who walked me through the process and held my hand when I called her after every single early post to ensure I was using the format correctly.

I had dreams of wandering her beach and working to capture the photos with my camera that she so beautifully captures with her's.

My dear wonderful friend died this morning. The circumstances gave us a week to hope and pray for a miracle, to prepare for the possibility of good-bye. 

A week to remember and wish for a different outcome and long for time together, more time together.

We weren't supposed to be friends, Debi. Today would certainly be easier if I had abided by your rules. But oh my friend, then I would have missed so much! 

Rest in peace, my precious Debi. I will see you in every butterfly. I will see you in the October light. And I will always always be grateful that we broke the rules.