Sunday, October 18, 2015

Oceans, Reservoirs, and my son in a tux.

The van windows were down as I sat in a parking lot under a balcony that looks out over the reservoir. I couldn't help but think about perceptions. In my childhood, I thought this big body of water was the same as an ocean. I would get excited every time my family ventured south to the Jackson-area. I would crane my neck, hoping for a glimpse. The sun hitting the waters still fills me with joy, but today, I have a bit more experience with oceans. I know that my perception of the Ross Barnett Reservoir doesn't compare with the majesty of the blue waters of the Pacific and Atlantic oceans.

In my van, I was waiting on Benjamin at his first Belhaven homecoming dance. He wasn't sure how long he wanted to stay and in order to be there when he was ready to leave, I needed to stay near. My initial feelings -- beyond exhaustion at being up so late -- was the knowledge that I was most definitely the only parent sitting in the parking lot. I wondered what the college kids were thinking about this mom opening doors and lowering ramps and trying not to hover. My perception was that this had to be having a negative impact on my college kid.

I confess that as I sat listening to bits of conversations happening on the balcony above me, I strained to hear Benjamin's voice over the crowd of collegiate voices celebrating homecoming. I so wanted to know that he was having a good time even as I sat waiting on his dancing wheels to tire out. Benjamin and I are finding our own dance, figuring out what college looks like today for Benjamin.

And so far, in spite of my fears about the perception of me as a hovering mother, it looks like this:

And this:

Belhaven 2015 Homecoming Court

And a bit of this:

Benjamin with Belhaven president, Dr. Roger Parrott.

And just in case you wondered....there was this too:

And of course, of course, there was this:

And so the reservoir is not an ocean. It is, however, beautiful and amazing and I could sit and enjoy the light reflecting off of it for hours. And Benjamin's college career is not an easy path. It is not one filled with complete independence or exactly the same things that Claire and Mason are enjoying on their campuses. But it is filled with honors, opportunities and some amazing new friends in his fellow students and staff.

And Saturday's homecoming was a wonderful reminder that once again I need to lay down my perceptions, assumptions and expectations. I need to let Benjamin lead the way -- he is perfectly comfortable with me in the parking lot letting the ramp up and down. And so I am too.

Carol - The Blessings Counter


Unknown said...

Looks like heaven to me, Carol...