Friday, April 10, 2015

Liar, Liar....

The bell rang and as the students filed out of the kindergarten classroom I couldn't help but notice Mason had something around his neck. But the thing that really drew my attention was his smile -- it was from ear to ear!

"I lost my first tooth!" Mason exclaimed when he was close enough for me to hear him. My face obviously betrayed my emotions -- I was not ready for this rite-of-passage moment -- because the next words out of his mouth were, "Don't worry, Mama. I promise not to grow up too fast."

But in eight days that adorable 5-year-old -- and his triplet siblings -- will turn 18. 18. And really, it is taking everything I have, not to torment him repeatedly with a refrain of "Liar, liar, pants on fire!"

And once I again, I fear my face betrays my emotions because today my dear Mason asked me if I was really sad about them turning 18 next week.


In full disclosure, I should tell you that I probably sighed three times deeply before answering:

"Well, if you can not be four, then I am excited about you being 18."


That is the absolute truth. I would turn that clock back in a minute to those precious preschool days. I know I am romanticizing it in my head this month, I know. But oh, these three were a delight and our days, though busy, were also so very joyful.

I left Mason believing that I just wanted to turn the clock back, but honestly, it isn't that. I wish we could go back in time with all we know today, with the wisdom of years, and the peace of acceptance.

Can you sit on that with me? I wish I could go back to those fleeting preschool years with the peace of acceptance. 

I wasted an obscene amount of time worrying. I wasted an inordinate amount of energy fretting. And I wasted an awful amount of emotion obsessing over what the boys would and would not be able to do with their future.

Today Mason had to have an MRI for this ongoing hip pain. I feel weepy in my heart for his challenges and the Mama-bear wants to go head to toe with Cerebral Palsy right now, giving it a couple of punches that only a Mama-bear in full-on-protect-her-cubs-mode can deliver.

But honestly, the thing I really want to punch CP for is the joy it robbed. Oh don't feel sad for me -- I am far too stubborn to have allowed all our joy to be robbed. I didn't do that ever. But still, I long for the minutes wasted in worry. I long for the hours obsessing on the what-ifs. And I long long for the days given over to sadness because of the hard road.

So hear me young mamas, I am yelling at you in the best possible way today: Live in hope for the future of your young ones, celebrate every single milestone and cheer like a crazy woman as they tackle obstacles that others might find easy. 

But find peace in loving them well. Find strength in carving out days for their childhood -- days that consist of super-hero capes and ice cream cones, days where you don't disguise therapy as play, you just actually PLAY. Find what makes their heart smile and make sure you have days filled with that!

Because here, at the eve of adulthood, two of my trio still have Cerebral Palsy. The hours of worry and fret did not cure them. The obsessing about their futures did not take about the obstacles they have to overcome. The joy robbed can not be replaced.

And yet, here we are, at this huge milestone, celebrating THREE lives that contribute mightily to every endeavor they attempt. They will graduate high school next month. They will set off for colleges of their choosing a few months down the road. And they will continue to do what they have always done so very very well: overcome any obstacle in their path as they seek to accomplish their life dreams and life goals.

And the truth is I am tickled as punch with who they are at 18. I love them to pieces and still enjoy our joy-filled time! And I could not be more excited to see what the coming months hold for them -- we exchanged fretting over all the little things with celebrating like mad all the big things!

We'll be here celebrating if you need us. (and cake...there will be cake!)

Carol - The Blessings Counter


Rhonna Rickman said...

Absolutely perfect!!! Thank you for sharing your lives with us!