Counting availability.

We are on Day 28 of my Write 31 Days challenge. I am still here but I would not be being completely honest if I didn't confess that I am relieved this is the last week. (Sorry Markeitha....I know you have enjoyed the journey and I just love you for that!)

Today I am thinking about how many times God has closed a door that I desperately wanted him to open.

January 28, 1999 -- "Have I told you that Benjamin's big thing now is answering questions with 'no' or 'OK'. I"m not sure why he uses OK instead of YES but he does! Well, tonight he was soooo tired...he hadn't napped well at all and it was dinnertime so he was past ready for sleep. He was crying at the table and I said 'Benjamin, do you want some more xxx? And he would just keeping crying with everything I asked. Then I said, 'Well, would you like for Mommy to get you some ice cream?' He looked up at me with a big smile (in mid-cry mind you!) and said, 'OK!' It was so  hilarious."

This apple did not fall far from the Mama-tree. As a matter of fact I am pretty sure God feels with me almost daily the way I felt with Benjamin sitting in his little high chair before he even turned two.

"Carol, let me give you things that are good for you -- trials, challenges, hardships."

I kick and scream and cry like crazy.

"Carol, here is a easy task. It won't grow you, or strengthen your walk. It won't make you the woman I know you can be. But it is sweet, easy and completely palatable."

Me, mid-cry: "I'll take it, Lord."

Sigh.

Parenting has taught me more about my relationship with God than anything in my life. As adorable as my one-year-old was asking for ice cream, I don't want to be a petulant child.

Grow me in the areas that count, Lord. Take me where YOU can use me. Place me in situations that test me, change me and serve you -- even if they taste like green beans to a baby.

I am ready. I am willing. And I know I serve a God who counts my availability way more than my abilities.