Saturday, October 25, 2008

On the roller-coaster...

The good news is that my foursome are definitely on the road to recovery -- and just in time for their annual costume party with their friends tonight!! (look for pictures in upcoming blogs!!) The hard news is that we had x-rays yesterday to evaluate the boys' hip development. It's something we watch closely -- the spasticity in their legs has caused some negative hip issues in the past. Not as much for Mason as Benjamin, but still it is important to monitor.

What you should know about me is that I prefer to live in denial. I prefer the not knowing and hoping everything is normal. Truly, it is the hardest part of Special Needs parenthood, that I have had to move beyond my normal state of denial and embrace knowledge...and through that face hard facts, periodically.

Yesterday was one of mixed answers. Yes, Benjamin has had some significant hip dysplasia. And yes, we will have to have a major hip surgery in the summer (followed by weeks of casting). BUT, his spine (which my darling husband assures me is a much more difficult surgery) looks fabulous! And so for that I will give thanks.

My dear Mason's hips look great. Not completely normal. But good. And so we are grateful. But his spine is showing signs of scoliosis -- a complete surprise. There is nothing needed today...but this will have to be closely monitored (read: x-rays that mean Mommy can't live in denial.).

I could not help but be reminded yesterday as we celebrated one set of hip x-rays, and worried about the other; celebrated one set of spine x-rays and worried about the other that is EXACTLY how these little stinkers did me in the NICU when they were all three so very tiny. We would have a day where one made great progress, one had a terrible setback and one held his/her own. And the next day it would be all mixed up with who was doing good, bad and holding steady!

So while we've been riding this roller-coaster for 11 years, can I tell you that the dips never cease to take my breath away. And so today, I am breathless, holding on tight to the promises of God to love my kiddos more than I ever could and to be their great healer. I am ever grateful for the blessing of mothering them and loving them....and yes, riding the roller-coaster with them!


Kristin Sidaway said...

You are a great mom! Hang in there and remember that God is in control, therefore you can't be in better hands!

Sarah Armstrong said...

You do an amazing job handling the many challenges your family faces. Maybe this won't surprise you, but I never read your blog and think of your kids as "special needs" kids until you say something about it...from the pictures and your words you'd never know that!! I think that is a great testament to you and how you handle life! :)

The Giraffe Head Tree said...

You do not know, dear friend, that you are my hero. (well, you do NOW!) Whenever I feel angst about my teen's latest idiotic stunt I think of you and the issues you deal with daily, and count my own blessings. Love you bunches.

Christie said...

Oh Carol, I don't envy you at all, but I am in awe of you! Your attitude is amazing!It is so hard to remember how they are not only ours, but His and we can only ask that His will always be done and know that His plan is THE plan. Our pastor at church reiterated to us at church sunday that we are here on Earth to serve Him. He is not here to serve us. Puts life in perspective huh? You are doing a GREAT job mom!!!