Lessons on riding and such...

I have a love/hate relationship with Claire's riding lessons. Love to watch my girl smile and capture it on film (can I still say that in this digital age?). Hate my fear of her falling and the way my heart races the entire time she is in the arena.



Last night, the love was winning. Claire had missed a few weeks due to sickness...and oh, her 11-year-oldness interfering with her desire to obey...but we won't talk about that. Anyway, she was so delighted to be back on her pony, Marki, and apparently he felt the same way! Her instructor, the incredible Miss Rosie, stood near my viewing perch for a while last night and told me about Marki. He was abused by his previous owners in a horrible way and came to her skittish, malnourished and hard to ride. She turned that around with love and care but still she said, this horse doesn't like her students. When they ride, he runs off with them and refuses to do what they ask. Except Claire.

Rosie said Marki is completely relaxed with Claire riding him (I'll have to trust her since I can't get past my own racing heart rate to observe those sort of fine details.), and she believes it is the pure love Claire gives him. He just knows this little horse whisperer of mine is not going to harm him in anyway!

Ah, but there are lessons to be learned. Claire wants Marki to jump. She loves to jump but Marki...not so much! (Yes, secretly in my heart I am completely siding with Marki in this battle...completely!) Last night she would guide him to the jump and he would refuse. Turn his head. Step away. Duck his head. Dance around. Over and over she tried and again and again he refused. Rosie was giving the instructions...Claire had to be firm. Claire had to be in command. Claire had to MAKE him take the jump! And he did. Finally!

I couldn't help but get tickled. I was sitting there watching and thinking...ah, yes, getting Marki to jump is rather like getting my 11-year-old daughter to obey. I lead her. I guide her. I coax her. I beg her. And still many many times, she refuses.

And just as I started to feel proud of my analogy (cause it was good, don't you think?), God brought me back to attention. I watched my girl with this horse she loves. She never yelled. She used the gentlest of "kicks" (if you can even call it that). Refused to even hold a crop because she knows that will spook this once-abused pony. She gently kept repeating her instructions. She kept loving that horse. She remained consistent in her instructions. And he obeyed. He obeyed.

And all of a sudden, I knew this wasn't just a lesson about parenting my daughter. This was a lesson about how God parents me. I dance around obedience. Obeying this time. Ducking my head the next. Hoping that if I skirt away from the tough jump, God will forget about it and let me off the hook.

So today, I am thankful for a Carol-whisperer God who is always consistent. Always loving. Always looking out for my good! And always willing to wait, until I obey.

Reaching new heights

There are many benefits to being a special needs Mommy -- most days I remember them all. Some days, I have to remind myself. Today was not one of those days!

In my opinion, one of the biggest benefits is that, without a doubt, we have celebrated every single milestone in ways other parents might take for granted. For example, I remember the day that baby Benjamin reached across mid line for an object. Not sure I would have known to celebrate that if my great occupational therapist (Mrs. Susan) had not been working with him so diligently on that particular task. Because for my Benjamin, reaching across mid line with his hands did not occur without some serious effort on his part.

Nor did reaching up. We used to jump up and down in therapy when we could coerce baby Benjamin to reach for the beads Mrs. Susan held above his head (the same beads his sweet triplet sister, Claire, would hide in her diapers to take home...but that is an entirely different tale!)

We are long past the days of baby Benjamin...but today was one of those days when we just have to celebrate. Benjamin used a walker when he was younger. But once he started kindergarten, the exhaustion of walking from point a to point b was a price we did not want to pay. So that he could use his energy for his academics, he started using a Power Wheelchair and loving it! But now, this boy is growing and needing some more significant weight bearing and yet, his increased height doesn't make the walker as viable right now. So today, his therapist brought out a new stander. It is so amazing -- he sits in it, like his wheelchair, and then we "pump" him up!! Literally! We can stop anywhere along the way that his legs need to -- or we can keep going!

He was so excited to see how tall standing made him today -- I think the point of view from way up there made him smile all over (as did his mommy's promise that while he is standing he can play video games!).

The hydraulics are such that he was able to pump himself up a good bit, and Mason loved doing it for me! Once he tires, he simply pulls the lever and is gently brought back to a sitting position!

Hey, look how tall I am!

The wheels allow me to push him around while he is standing -- I'm thinking there could be serious benefits to that...could he dust from this position? Fold clothes? I mean really, this thing has to work for me, right?!



We are blessed to live in an age where great minds get together to come up with better and better ways to help my sweet boy reach new heights every day!

Little things

The trip to Mexico has made a lasting impression. We can't quit talking about it. We are all dreaming about it. And our prayer life has been changed.

On Sunday of our trip, Paul Wilson, one of the pastor's of our church, opened the morning devotion by reading a passage of scripture from Matthew. As I put him to bed Sunday evening, Benjamin shared how much the scripture touched his heart. He had been limited that day in what he could do to physically help build the house. Instead, he spent time passing out the "dulces" in his belt and entertaining the children -- and the adults as we took our breaks sitting beside him! He told me at bedtime that he kept hearing the scripture in his head all day and knew that what he was doing was being used by God as much as what the rest of us were doing!

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me,'

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and cloth you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' " Matthew 25: 34-40 (NIV)

Daddy and his girls...

Heat up the rollers, the girls are going to a dance! The annual Daddy/Daughter Dance was held last night at our church. Wade was out of town all week and literally flew in for the occasion -- he drove straight from the airport to the church, changed in the restroom there, and whisked his girls off to a lovely night of dinner, dancing -- and Ice Cream!!

We knew that if there were any flight delays, Dad would never make it...but we still spent the afternoon getting everyone beautiful! Cate was very excited at this hot roller stage...

But really did not like it much when the rollers came down -- "I don't like my hair like this. It looks silly." (She has a mind of her own this three-year-old! Yep. She does.)

Claire has so much hair you really could use TWO sets of rollers...but we make do! She loves to have her hair curly so this was a fun night already!

We had fun shopping for their dresses -- though, can I just share that I had mistakenly had visions of them matching...or at least being color-coordinated. But when we walked into the first store, Claire picked up a pink dress and so Cate looked at her and said, "I want a blue one." Period. (Did I mention that she has a mind of her own?!) And she went right to her section and pulled this one down. Silly me. I thought I might have some input.

So they dined, they danced and they had some wonderful time with Daddy....right up until that single-minded three-year-old announced that she wanted to go home and see her Mommy! (Pretty adamantly, or so I've heard!) I think next year Dad might have to take them on separate nights!! (At least then it won't matter if they are color-coordinated or not!)

And while we weren't fancy (goodness knows we had used all the fancy on those little girls), the boys and I had a lovely dinner out at our fave, Chili's! The conversation was constant, the food was yummy and we were pretty excited to have a dinner date of our own!!

Children are a blessing. Oh, they are!

Not your typical Valentine...

The five oldest Shraders had an adventure this weekend (that means sweet Cate had to stay with Uncle Len...but he spoiled her rotten so we won't feel too badly for her!)...we drove down to Rocky Point, Mexico with our church, Christ's Church of the Valley, to build a house. Build a house!

I want to share so much of the details with you -- I do. And yet, I am at a complete loss as to how to begin. Me...at a complete loss for words! ha But I have pictures, and emotions, and if you'll excuse my rambling, I'll try to share about a weekend that left me feeling like a piece of taffy -- stretched, and pulled, and doubled in compassion, love, and faith!

We arrived in Rocky Point, Mexico Friday evening and were out at the site of our sweet new friends' home early Saturday morning. This is where Hector and Odelia and their little two-year-old Lesley were living. The Mexican government leases the land to them, and they are required to find the "house". No one in the barrio (neighborhood) has electricity or running water. A few have built outhouses for the bano (bathroom) but Hector and Odelia didn't even have that.

This is a shot of the next door neighbor's home. Our hearts were so torn -- we were excited to be helping this family but wanted to help all we came into contact with during the trip. The poverty level was so high -- and these are homes FOUR hours from our door. Only four hours.

Because this was a spur-of-the-moment trip (we jumped in last minute to fill some holes left by cancellations), we didn't have a good handle on what Benjamin would be able to do. He found tasks to help with in spite of a wheelchair that wouldn't drive on the sandy terrain. But his real strength, something we could not have done without, was the beautiful job he did of breaking the ice with the children who came to watch us work. His "tool belt" was full of "dulces" (sweets) and it didn't take long for that word to spread! He loved passing out candy to all the sweet children...and even made a special little friend, Ocedes, who seemed to have a fondness for him and kept wandering back to his side.

Mason was as usual, a worker bee! He tried his hand at everything from adding the fiber to the concrete (and a prayer for a strong foundation for the house!), to holding the boards steady while they were sawed in two, to overcoming his personal fear of heights and going up for some work on the roof! This kid even helped dig a five foot deep hole that Hector can now take the scrap materials from the house and build a bano!

Claire was also a hard-worker -- she tried her hand at every task imaginable but found her favorite to be building friendships! She was very worried about her limited knowledge of Spanish but soon discovered that love is easily conveyed! Her heart was touched as the young girls she befriended have so very little and yet were so happy!

Wade was excited to jump in wherever needed -- he poured the foundation, he built walls and yes, every first aid emergency fell to his expertise! Before we left, he spent time with the organizers of the mission we were working through to discuss plans for a medical mission trip! I will be excited to see how God uses the new passion he has given Wade for the people in Mexico!

As for me, my love for the people of Mexico is nothing new. Nor is my knowledge of the poverty level at which they live. My own "dulce tia" (sweet aunt) introduced me to that when I was 15 years old and she took me home with her to her mission field in Montemorelos, Mexico. I spent a month there that forever changed me. I promised those dear people that I would return. It took far longer than I ever imagined but this weekend, I felt like I was keeping my promise. I learned how to mix concrete (my shoulders are still aching), how to hammer a nail (Wade is delighted! He had tried and tried to teach me in the past!), I learned how to apply stucco (not nearly as easy as they make it look on HGTV!) and I learned most of this while being followed around by my own new amigo, Jorge, Hector's youngest hermano (brother). This little boy of "ocho anos" (eight years) was glued to my side because I always let him use his hammer! (Yes, I am a pushover in every language!!) And so, my favorite words became "Aqui, Jorge" and that sweet boy would go to town!!

But perhaps the biggest lesson I learned this weekend came from the mouth of this young mother who was getting a brand new home. I used my limited Spanish to ask her how she was -- "Como esta, Odelia?" And she smiled her beautiful smile and said, "Contento."

Oh Father, that I would learn to be contento. That would be the biggest blessing of all.

Stinkin' Hard Days

Benjamin laughing "with" the veteran in a wheelchair at the Bob Hope Tribute in San Diego. He loved that there was a guy in a wheelchair...and since all the statues were laughing, he decided to join right in! Benjamin as King of the World on the newly renovated "It's a Small World" ride in Disneyland in December.


My Benjamin. While I am his mother and therefore admittedly not objective in the least...I think this is one of the greatest kids in the world. The entire world.

Most of the time, this boy of mine has an upbeat attitude that shouts his contentment with who he is -- how God made him -- and what he can do. He has been that way since birth. Just a joy.

But he is 11. And lately, well, he is 11.

Even before we began the home schooling adventure this semester, he was struggling with his friendships. He makes friends very easily -- is outgoing, loves to talk and is just the nicest kid. But did I mention he is 11. Eleven-year-old boys like to do a couple of things...run, and run faster. Usually the running involves a ball of some sort. And my sweet boy, who for years has been content to watch...would just like somebody to like to watch with him.

Today, he looked at me with his precious eyes (the longest eyelashes ever...completely given to him by God in order to bat them at his mommy and get away with all assortment of things!), and said, "Sometimes, Mommy, I just don't like it." I asked him what he meant. Now you should know that for 11 years, this cheerleader of a Mommy has been telling him how God is going to use his Cerebral Palsy for good...so my Benjamin looks at me and says, "I just don't like that wheelchair." (Cause heaven forbid we criticize something God is going to use!)

My initial reaction was my standard, "Ok, well we can decide to feel sorry for ourselves, or we can choose to accept..." (Aren't you glad I'm not YOUR Mom?) but I stopped myself. I sat down beside him and told him, "Yeah. I hear you. Sometimes, it just stinks."

And then he rolled to the kitchen counter, grabbed a left-out Pop Tart and shoved it down. Cause...did I mention, he is 11?!

Fighting the crud

There's a crud going around our house. I started it sadly with a bad case of the sniffles that just won't leave us alone. So this morning, I was anxious to see how sweet baby Cate was feeling after she ran a fever all weekend.

So I asked her: "Cate, how are you feeling this morning?"

In true three-year-old fashion, she promptly put her cute little hands to her face, patted, and looked up at me and said: "Oh, I feel good this morning. Weeally good."

Ah, the blessing of "feelings"! How do you feel today?!

Just wondering...

Did you know that if you happen to be at the playground with three preschoolers -- two girls and a boy -- and a big bright yellow bulldozer drives up and begins to upturn the concrete connected to said playground, the little boy will freeze in his tracks and barely breath while he watches...but those girls will just keep on swinging and talking, completely oblvious?! Did you know?